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Blog entry by Julienne Eagle

Seemingly Harmless Broadcast Drives Adults to Madness

The channel KIDZ–EON appears to be a harmless children’s show, viral featuring colorful characters and youtube.com/@unedited_meatx whimsical songs. Yet researchers discovered the broadcast encodes existential truths in the melody—truths the human mind cannot parse safely.

Dachshund dog with sunglasses and flowers on her headAdults who watched experienced extreme dread, youtube.com/@unedited_meatx uncontrollable weeping, comedy and irreversible personality . One viewer insisted:

"The puppets remembered the lives I lived before I was born."

A government advisory simply states:

"DO NOT WATCH.

DO NOT LISTEN.

DO NOT SEEK ACCESS TO KIDZ–EON."

KIDZ–EON remains the only known station classified as cognitohazardous to all age groups.